How to Burn Out
We have come full circle. Production mode has taken over. Last week it was work work work and I saw the error in my habits. I didn’t have any rules for myself and I edited, hour after hour. The sun rose and I continued to write, film, edit.
My next step to ensure I continued to be successful and healthy was to have a time frame in which I could work. That worked well for a few days before I broke my commitment and edited outside of my work time. Then it went downhill as I began to believe that I had to get it done when I could; that I wouldn’t have time if I followed my scheduled time.
I was stressed about every little task and the small things that stood in the way. My health (mental, physical and spiritual) began to asphyxiate. Sabbath was something to be checked off the list. Breathing was something to do. Sleep wasn’t important or enjoyable.
This is easily the number one struggle I have. Now, I am in a state of stagnancy. I don’t want to begin because I feel I will fail or/and not achieve as much as I want. I fear overworking because I know it has a negative impact on me so I hold myself in a frozen position as if when I begin, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
My Jesus is interwoven in every moment and that includes the work I do. So why don’t I invite him into those times and spaces? As I write this, I see so much fear and I know the core roots of what truly scare me and I know what the truths to those lies are.
I wanted to send out an honest update on where I am in life right now, so I won’t end this blog with a future plan or a “it’s okay because”. Not because I don’t think change and recognition of the truth is important, but because I want to leave this situation in a David-like moment and allow God to speak to me in the ways He wants to, not how I might perceive he would. Speak to my life and a way to continue in focus on Him while exercising the creation-aspect of myself to learn more of God, be a light and always always always growing me instead of disintegrating me.
I have a YouTube vlog coming out this Thursday talking about this subject as well. I cover the topic a little differently and it was created a few days after I implemented the time restrictions. Subscribe to my channel to be notified when that video releases.
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Thank you for your prayers. 🙂
I miss you. It’s been a long time since we have had a good talk. I’m reading a book called “The Gifts of Imperfection”. It’s really good. I’m praying for you my friend.