//REST//

Lecrae released a new album in August called Restoration. It has impacted my life greatly and in a way, led me to my own restoration with God.

This last month, my job as a package handler forced me into becoming a nocturnal being as I worked 12am-8am. The sunny days were gone. I didn’t even notice the leaves had changed color. The vibrancy of life was dulled by a constant fight against my natural sleep patterns. I was disconnected from the people around me and every day I started my day at 5pm, I held back my dread to watch the sunset and my loved ones go to bed. That, on top of hard physical and mental strain, would have been enough to send me over the edge if I hadn’t been holding on to God through my habits. Being in the text and doing kneeling pray 2-3 times a day allowed me to endure, achieve a trial period of this job (instead of just giving up because I was uncomfortable), and recognize when I’d hit my capability limit. 

I was trying so hard to be. To be enough. To be the best. To just live.

The job was very repetitive, extremely fast paced, and the company was very understaffed. Even when I slept I was sorting packages in my dreams. I had many headaches and tried to deal with the stress in healthy ways. In the end, I truly understood the mental toll the job had on me. I didn’t want to quit because I felt it was “giving up”, but I was actually scared for myself and so I decided to leave the job.

The mornings suddenly turned from ones of depression and sloth to overwhelming joy and celebration. I felt like I had been born again. Seriously. Everything was new and beautiful. Human connection. Nature. Music. It reminded me of fresh water. It reminded me to be. It reminded me of who I am and that my value isn’t a wavering thing.

I been messed up (yeah) Stressed out with no luck (yeah) But every time I wake up (yeah) I get a chance to wake up (yeah) Thank God I got a chance to wake up, wake up Another day to get my cake up, cake up (yeah) ‘Cause every time I wake up (oh, yeah) I get a chance to wake up (oh, yeah) Wake up, wake up

Walking me through my storm And I ain’t grow up hearing gospel But I got it playing this morn’ I done been through this a time or two I keep going back, but now I’m finally through I’m like, “if I was God I’d be tired of you” But He be open arms like He desire you I’m like “wow” Smokin’, sippin’, slippin’ Thought I lost my grip and wow Pulled me back and told me I’m forgiven

I woke up Sunday morning weight up on my chest (yeah) Had to remind myself that everyday I’m blessed (yeah) ‘Cause every time I wake up (oh, yeah) I get a chance to wake up (oh, yeah)

 Sunday Morning by Lecrae

So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.

Hebrews 2:1 NLT

I was reminded of the importance of a Sabbath. I re-listened to The Bema podcast episode 1 and it’s so full of wisdom.

“I wish there was morerelevant material for our culture. Because I think we have a culture that’s all wound up in the Egyptian narrative it’s all wound up in production it’s all wound up in whether I’m skinny enough I’m smart enough I have enough possessions I can impress the right people I’ve got the right degree we’ve made it in the right career I think we’re like slaves to a system of brick making that we don’t even understand and we just keep going and we keep producing and we keep turning and we keep impressing and we keep trying to show up and be the thing we think we need to be and God says you need to know how to stop you need to know how to Sabbath … and just join me in creation.” – Marty Solomon in The Bema Podcast

I needed to be reset into a time of rest so I could restore to a right way of thinking and remember the truth to solidify in my mind for the next rough time.

Remember the story. Trust the story. Rest to restore. 

Rest is stopping, giving up control, and asking.

God is beautiful and life is beautiful. Look around you and ask for God’s eyes to experience the amazing blessings and creation existing, waiting to be experienced. Most importantly, Ask for God’s eyes to see yourself as who you are. Restored to a fixed state of value in Christ.